"And did she make my hair?": How my 2-year-old is forming an Image of God

Lately my daughter has been asking about God.  It all started with a conversation about dandelions in late Spring.  I've always found the sprinkle of yellow throughout  green lawn quite charming and I'd gladly adorn a sweet dandelion crown or set the kitchen table with a dandelion bouquet, while I watch others go through environmentally unfriendly efforts to avoid them. So I found myself sitting on the porch with my daughter this spring as she asked me what kind of flowers were popping up throughout the lawn.  She wants to know the names of all flowers.  I don't usually know them, so instead they are "pink flowers" or "big flowers" to me.  But these ones I knew, and so I told her, "They're dandelions.  Many people will tell you they're weeds, but I say they're beautiful because God made them."

"GOD made them!!??" My daughter quickly replied, surprised, confused, intrigued. "Who is God?" She knows about God, at least as much as any 2 year old Pastor's Kid knows about God, but I knew she was looking for me to explain more specifically.  

"Yes, sweetheart, God made everything-- the trees, the clouds, you and me."

"The house?" 

"Well, no, but God made the people who made the house."

For Evelyn, a conversation which she doesn't quite understand, but she feels intrigued by tends to repeat itself.  So every time she saw a dandelion for quite some time, she'd start this conversation over again, "Who made that?!"  She knew the answer but she wanted to hear me say it again. 

This recurred once or twice a day for a week or two. 

"Did God make this spaghetti?"

"Did God make my brother?
"Did God make this potty?" 

To inanimate objects I would always reply, "No, but God made the person who made that (house, spaghetti, potty)," and that answer was acceptable to her growing spiritual mind. 

Finally one afternoon we were having this very conversation when she finally said, "And did she make my hair?" 

I paused as I heard her use her first-ever pronoun for God, and that it was a female pronoun.  I was surprised as I felt a warmth and a pride swell up in my heart, and said, "Yes, she made your hair." 

I very rarely use pronouns for God, believing that God does not fit inside a specific gender. I know that's not easy for everyone, but I happen to think it's worth the effort and after a few weeks or months of it, it becomes quite natural.  Having learned about God so far only in the context of inclusive language, Evelyn hadn't used a pronoun for God either.  She never asked.  She never seemed to question it. It didn't seem to matter to her until this moment, when she finally used a pronoun and it was a female one.  

I find it fascinating to see the way that the image of the Old Bearded Man Sitting On a Throne on a Cloud doesn't have to be the default childhood image of God.  For so long I've believed that must be the universal image of God when a young faith is just blossoming.  That's how God was always painted in murals and how God was constructed in stained glass, and how I saw God until I was...I dunno... 20? and "He" is so much easier to say than adjusting the phrasing of a sentence to render a pronoun unnecessary.  "He" often fits better into hymns and praise songs.  "He" is the default because for so long we have lived in a patriarchal world.  

Cultural constructs around gender are changing, and I see that change is already taking shape in the way my little girl's mind is forming.  She has no idea that women were ever considered less than men.  She has no idea that there's any power differential between her and her brother, between her daddy and I.  She has no reason to believe that the One who created us has to be male.  

I don't know how long she'll see God as female, and that's not what matters to me.  What matters to me is that she develops an image of the Divine that works for her specific and individual relationship with God, and not just what some Sunday School curriculum or picture book has told her God looks like.  I love that she is a part of our church, with our Sunday School teacher, Miss Olivia, who is open to the unique interpretations our kids come up with, and that she's a part of this time and place where cultural constructs are being questioned and challenged, and where people are free to form their own ideas.

--Pastor Joanna